Decisions

I've gone back and forth and back and forth on what I should I do. The thing is that the person I love had sex with 3 people while we were on break and you probably think that is a dumb thing to be mad about but to me its not. The worst part is that it was in less than 5 months. I was mad for the longest time, but my heart keeps pulling through the anger and telling me to take the risk anyway and go back out with him and I have decided that I want to. I still don't like what he did but I have to know if we are meant for each other. I have to find out otherwise I will always wonder. I have to take the risk and put myself out there for without risk there is never a gain. If I just stayed in my comfort zone I wouldn't achieve anything in life and I don't want to be like that. So I have decided that I am going to take the risk and tell him how I feel and just see what he says, but I have to try, I have to know. I can't just wonder all my life! I have done that too much already. The post just before this one is a song that I wrote for him. I don't know what it is about him but I love him with all my heart and maybe I'm just still young and dumb and I don't know what else is out there but I just have to know. I just want to live now, in today. I have my whole life ahead of me but I don't really care I just want to be happy! A life without happiness is not a life worth living!

Caught in the Middle

Refrain: I am caught in the middle of what i want and what i should do
I just want to know what's best
I just want to be happy
I am caught in the middle of my mind and heart

I am waiting for an answer
I am waiting for a sign
Can you please just answer my prayers
For I need a piece of mind


Verse 1: I feel like were strangers
And it really breaks my heart
How did we get to this point
Where we barely speak these days
We used to be good friends
We went through good times and bad
But now my heart is aching
and I feel so alone.


Refrain: I am caught in the middle of what i want and what i should do
I just want to know what's best
I just want to be happy
I am caught in the middle of my mind and heart

I am waiting for an answer
I am waiting for a sign
Can you please just answer my prayers
For I need a piece of mind


Verse 2: I have always loved you
And I always will
But how do you feel
For I really need to know
Because I deserve to be happy
And I have to decide
If that means your still in my life
Or if I must say goodbye


Refrain: I am caught in the middle of what i want and what i should do
I just want to know what's best
I just want to be happy
I am caught in the middle of my mind and heart

I am waiting for an answer
I am waiting for a sign
Can you please just answer my prayers
For I need a piece of mind


Verse 3: I feel like time is running out
And to be honest i don't want to say goodbye
But I can't keep holding on
To get hurt in the end
Cause I deserve to be happy
And I have to decide
If that means your still in my life
Or if i must...
Must say goodbye

Wedding of Love

Look at the two of them
You wouldn't think they knew
Anyone Else was alive
Seems like nothing can change them
They will never lose the magic,
That they are feeling today
And onto the dreams of the young happy couple, in love

The time is now, the place is here
There's no better time or place
To say yes to you my dear
The stage is set, our friends our here
Our yes is written in this time,
The beginning of our years

God bless the two of them
It's not hard to remember
What it was like to begin like this
The beginning of two lives, one life
The dreaming of the two to become one
Nothing on Earth can compare
Hang on to the truth, this time, your youth and your love

The time is now, the place is here
There's no better time or place
To say yes to you my dear
The stage is set, our friends our here
Our yes is written in this time,
The beginning of our years

My partner, my friend, my lover
I swear to God that there never could be any other for me
Let's walk together, apart always joined
In my heart and in my mind
I commit all of my time
And on to the yes that's spoken today that echo's forever your love

The time is now, the place is here
There's no better time or place
To say yes to you my dear
The stage is set, our friends our here
Our yes is written in this time,
The beginning of our years
Our yes is written in this time,
The beginning of our years

Taking the Risk

i'm so confused and i feel so alone. sometimes i feel like i'm making the right choice and other times i question myself on wether or not what i am doing is worth it. i just don't know what to do. i guess though that sometimes you just have to make a decision and hope for the best. you just have to take a leep of faith and risk getting hurt. no one wants to get hurt but suffering is a part of life and how can you gain anything if you don't take any risks. you don't gain anything from staying locked up all your life and staying in your comfort zone. so i guess i'm going to take that leep of faith and stay with my decision. i hope everything works out but in the end if it doesn't and i end up hurt well i will just take it as a learning experience and go on with my life. because life doesn't sit around and wait and every moment is special and precious because you never know how much time you will have. one of my goals is going to be to take risks and to just follow my heart and not worry about what might happen if i do this or that and just do whats in my heart.

my motto: Do what makes you happy and don't let anyone tell you that your happiness is
irrelavent!