Goodbye's

i have to say goodbye to my best friend tomorrow! he is going into the air force and he is on the bomb squad so his job is very dangerous and he is at high risk of death. it kills me to even think about it. i can't bear to say goodbye to another person who is a big part of my life. i already had to say goodbye to my dad and now i have to say goodbye to my best friend who i thought for a while i would marry. this may sound dumb but i feel like i'm losing another loved on for good. this is just too much for me to handle. i don't know if i'm going to make it through this one. There is only so much that one can take before they break into a million pieces. The thing is too that we used to date and well we could be going back out again but i said no since he was leaving in about a week at the time. sometimes i wonder if i'm making a mistake, but other times i feel like this is the right thing to do. i'm just so confused and i don't want to miss my chance but everyone keeps telling me that if we are really meant to be that it will happen in the future and i hope they are right cause i feel like i've already missed my chance, but idk... i just wish i knew the answer to all my questions and i hope i'm doing the right thing. i just really don't want to say goodbye! my heart can't bear another loved one leaving! but i'm just going to give it up to God and pray that He keeps him safe and that what is meant to be will be!